PDFs and Pat

I have been severly reprimanded by rob for an admitted slacking in posting my mundane ubanities on this site. So in an effort to rectify my laziness, I have decided to express some punditry.

The first order of business is to lambast the defunctional inept acrobat reader on my machine. Portable document formats are actually pain-in-the-ass document formats, as my adobe reader is temprenetal to say the least. Half the time it takes 45 seconds to open a file (DO I LOOK LIKE I GOT 45 SECONDS TO WASTE???) the other half it reads "done" with nothing but a tepid, pasty, pink northeastern-havent-seen-the-sun-since-june skin like color (the kind of thing readily on display on north road). Why, at an institution of unparalleled supercomputing excelence is it so hard for my adobe acrobat reader to act like an adult? All of a sudden burritos "I cant view pdfs" is starting to sound familiar...

The second point Id like to hammer home is my love affair with Pat. Not only does that woman know how to pour a good (relatively speaking) cup of coffee - always nailing the perfect ratio of milk to coffee, but she goes that extra mile to find me my custard creams. She also has learned how to add quickly which saves me time (DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE 45 SECONDS TO WASTE???). Glenda on the other hand's callous disinterest in her job is visible by the rancous cups of sludge Im forced to drink. The milk - to - coffee ratio is all over the place, occasionally resembling a latte and occasionally as black my feelings for her. She nervously laugh as though Im about to report her to the stasi for resisting collectivization and she cant calculate to save her pension.


Dont get my started on Lynne, whos tatoo has scared me into fearing reprisals if I even think anything negative about her (nervous laugh).